The award for the best drinking community goes to... If you thought it is Chalakudy, you are wrong. Irinjalakuda bagged the award for the New Year sales this year beating Chalakudy. (Irinjalakuda wins the Record). ചാലക്കുടിയുടെ പേരില്‍ കുടിയുണ്ടയിട്ടെന്താ കാര്യം? കൊണ്ടുപോയില്ലേ കുട കുടി?

My poor fellow drinkers from Chalakkudy were cheated of their coveted position which they have been zealously drinking for a long time now and that too to poor cousins Irinjalakuda!!! Irinjala Kudam might be a better name :) (Irinjalakuda, known previously for the likes of poor Kootal Manikya devan, Unnayi Warrier, Mampuzha Kumaran, Sachchidanandan, Aanad, Jayachandran, M.C Joseph and the not so Innocent man has a better aura now).

Actually, had it not been for a few people calling for a hartal in Chalakkudy on the previous day, it would not have been possible to de-throne Chalakkudy (I am sure that Mani will think of something before next Christmas). I strongly doubt a foreign hand and an international conspiracy behind this hartal. Just look at the reason for calling the hartal: Two fellow drinkers meet at the local outlet, bought their respective quota of rum and decided to enjoy the drinks together sitting on a culvert in Koratty. Since they were already on a few drinks, it did not matter that one was ex-swastika, the other Sickle and hammer. Well, one of them was accused of the murder of the other's brother before too. However, in the true spirit of camaraderie of the drinking community, they forgot the water (or the water polluted with endosulphan - how can any ബുദ്ധിജീവി from malluland write a blog and not mention Endosulphan even once?) that flew below the culvert and started enjoying their drinks in peace and love. Unfortunately, one of them had one too many and started talking about the murder. Now, everything is fair in drinking and war. The other walked to the broiler shop nearby, very courteously borrowed a knife usually used to cut the chicken throats in a halal way and very respectfully sent the other man to join the person he was accused of sending upwards before. The man then went down to the nearby paddy field and was praying for world peace in the serenity of the chemically treated paddy fields when the KP - (കള്ളപ്പന്നി എന്ന് വിവരദോഷികള്‍ പറയും, കമ്മുനിസ്റ്റ്‌ പോലിസ്/ കോടിയേരി പോലിസ് എന്നിങ്ങനെ വേറെ ചിലരും ) Keralapolice broke the peace and arrested him. Friends,could this ever happen in any other place but in God(own)'s own country??? There goes the cup of Chalo kudy dry and IJK cup overflowed.

Well, the Kerala model is actually unique. We have heard about it since many years now. However, the story needs a little updating and they should invite Dr. Issac and not Lal(l)u Prasad to Harvard. After all, what did Lalu do other than make a chief minister cook rotis for him or feed a few cows made of paper? Railways? Well, even Didi did more with the wheels than him! She even tried to do a white paper on Lalu's cooking (I mean of the cooking of the books of the Railways)

On the other hand, Kerala is not only the home of the first democratically elected (all stories about an African Nation doing it first is CIA propaganda) Communist Government (what if they don't believe in democracy and the Indian Constitution?), it is the only democratically elected (left) Government in the whole world which brews money to pay interest to IMF and World bank!!! Yes, it is true. Only the Government is allowed to sell IMFL in Kerala (Of course the stories that most of the bars sell home made brews are lies spread by party enemies and മാധ്യമ സിണ്ടികെട്റ്റ് . In fact P.K Gurudasan - never heard about him? He is the Excise Minister in Kerala. He actually believes that his actions speak for him- has never booked a single spurious liquor case against any bar owner in his full 5 year term but destroyed all the barons who were brewing unhealthy liquor in forests using modern technology like കലം, കുടം, തേരട്ട etc... and allowed the bar owners to sell only the healthy brews) and its liquor sales ministry is the biggest tax payer in Kerala! Out of 13,194 crores (2008-9) collected as direct taxes, 3,164 crores was from liquor sales (2008-9, whereas 2009-10 it stands at 4,260 crores)! Compare this with the tax collected from gold which stood at a dismal 170 crores (it must be the biggest joke ever - Dr. Issac, you should write a thesis with your US partner on this)! and luxuary tax of 100 crores! Can you blame Dr. Issac in paying a bonus of Rs50,000 to each of the employees of the Beverages Corporation? What if the Kerala state is paying only Rs120/ month as pension for Old people / Widows / Various retired workers pension etc... ??(Details of Social Security Pensions by Kerala Government)

Now, you will ask what is the connection between interest payment to world bank and the tax collected from the poor unorganized drinkers of our poor state? Well, I understand that we, poor Keralites have taken loans (Loans for Externally Aided Projects by Kerala State) nearly equaling to the same amount supposed to have been scammed by the Dravida Raja's and from where can Dr. Issac pay the interest? By selling പരിപ്പ് വട and കട്ടന്‍ കാപ്പി in KTDC hotels??? By conducting ബകറ്റ് പിരിവ് ? അവനാരാ മോന്‍? ബുദ്ധി രാക്ഷസനല്ലേ ? Instead of opening too many low paying arrack shops, the Gov has allowed granting liquor selling licences to anyone constructing even a one room hotel with 3 star rating anywhere in Kerala - No anti-field filling law applied. Of course, how can we develop the tourism industry without 3 star hotels? How can സായ്‌വ് survive without our Rum???

In fact the only development I have noticed during my quarterly visits to home are 1) New 3 star hotels even on the country sides (Here we are at par with the coffee shops in Holland. There you cannot get coffee on a Sunday morning, but you can buy grass. Similarly, you cannot get coffee here, but can get plenty of rum, Kerla's favorite IMFL!) 2) New churches and temples and mosques - tall concrete edifices to the Gods! {(In fact, I had to break writing this notes because 4 persons came visiting in a new Maruti Alto, asking me to sponsor a part of a temple being constructed for the poor homelss god of Vadakkoodans! They went out quite angry as I had to tell them very frankly that what they are doing is not social good, but social evil - I don't think any Vadakkoodan will attend my funeral now! Not a bad idea:)}3) Professional colleges, 4) Flats and 5) new Jerusalem's, Muringoor's and other ധ്യാനകേന്ദ്രങ്ങള്‍ and new swamis and avtars in every corner!

Mallus are fast becoming a decadent society: Escape to booze or ഭക്തി , obsession with Professional degrees - every one want their son or daughter to be a Doctor, if not, an Engineer (sorry, first place should go to reality show star) and send them to ox-fad!!

I think I lost my way.... കാട് കയറിപ്പോയി അല്ലെ? മതിയാക്കാം.

News of the Day: സ്മാര്‍ട്ട് സിറ്റി സി ഇ ഓ കേരളത്തില്‍ കള്ള് കുടിച്ചു കിടക്കുകയാണെന്ന് അച്ചുതാനന്ദന്‍ ! പിന്നെന്തിനാ അച്ച്ച്ചുംമാമേ ഈ ബാറുകള്‍ എല്ലാം കോടിയേരി ടൂറിസ്റ്റുകള്‍ ക്കായി പണിതത്?

News (Source TOI): Kerala witnessed a surge in liquor sales on New Year's eve with a record business of Indian Made Foreign Liquor worth over Rs 32 crore, in spite of a recent campaign by several organisations to curb alcohol consumption in the state.

Sales on December 31, 2010 was Rs four crore more than that of 2009, Beverage Corporation sources said.

For December, IMFL of Rs 597 crore was sold in the state. It was Rs 490 crore in December 2009.

The figures available were the sales through the 338 outlets of the Kerala State Bevarages Corporation, the main wholesale and retail dealer of IMFL in the state, they said.

Out of IMFL sale, 65 per cent sale was different brands of Rum followed by Brandy 30 per cent and premium brand liquors five per cent, the sources said. (Note - by AK: It is clear that the rich drinks Scotch, not IMFL. It is the poor unorganized sector of the lower income group drinkers that helps the Government by drinking >6,000 crores worth IMFL and helps them to collect the >3,000 crore tax each year! AND< these are only the official figures. Considering that at a conservative estimate of 2 times the sales for the seconds liquor, the figures are mind boggling - may be even more that the lootery!!!)

Irinjalakudda in Thrissur district topped in yesterday's sale of IMFL with a business of Rs 17.64 lakh followed by Ponnani 16.95 lakh and Thiroor 16.72 lakh.

News (Source Economic Times): Elsewhere in the state, there were queues at the roughly 350 outlets of the Kerala State Beverages Corporation (KSBC) on Saturday to pick up the first bottles of the new fiscal. April 1 was a dry day being the first day of the month, and Good Friday added another dry day. The first day of the new fiscal clocked sales worth Rs 23.66 crore, far higher than the average day’s consumption in 2009-10.

KSBC’s turnover for 2009-10 was Rs 5,539 crore, its highest-ever, and a 20% increase over the Rs 4,631 crore that the corporation grossed in 2008-09. The biggest beneficiary of the record sale was the state government, with KSBC’s contribution to the exchequer by way of sales tax, excise, licence fees, surcharge and other levies going up from Rs 3,621 crore in 208-09 to Rs 4,260 crore in 2009-10.

KSBC managing director N Shanker Reddy says the higher turnover had a straight-forward correlation with the higher consumption pattern. “Indian-made foreign liquor (IMFL) sales went up from 171 lakh cases in 2008-09 to 188 lakh cases in 2009-10, while beer sales went up more sharply from 71 lakh cases to 85 lakh cases in the same period”, says he.

Liquor consumption has for long been growing in the state, but the last five years have shown a dramatic rise in consumption. Gross liquor sales in the state have increased 110% in the past five years.

It is funny that the name of KSBC which sells the liquor and KCBC which opposes the sale of liquor (Kerala Catholic Bishops Council) rhymes with each other :) ഇടയ ലേഖനം

Read the special report from BBC mentioned by KCBC at the following link: